The Novelty of Being Home is Wearing Off
We are all willing to make shared sacrifices for the greater good. Quarantining is what we have to do. We are grateful to have our health, some are grateful to still be employed, but it struck me this week as we enter week 5, that many clients are sharing a similar sentiment, the novelty of being home is wearing off.
Who would have thought when we first entered 2020 we would be where we are now? To protect us from an invisible enemy, a virus, has in more ways put anxiety, confusion and stress over every household in some way. Every day, as the local and national news becomes more grim and we all work to maintain our balance, gratitude and perspective- we have new challenges showing up at home.
Now that we are settling into this new norm of work from home, all family relationships may be tested. You may have come home to be with family during this time or already still live at home. However, our daily routines have changed as we now are working all under the same roof. It can be so difficult to remain resilient at this time. Regardless of how solid your family relationships may be, stress, illness, financial pressures and 24/7 togetherness will put any relationship to the test.
We all have much light within us but we are human, and we all have dark sides as well- anger, depression and grief over this very difficult situation. Why would we show our dark side to the people we love the most? Most important is the fact that when our bonds are tighter, there is inherent trust that we won't scare people away with our bad moods and anger-especially our primary care-givers-regardless of your age. Try to ask yourself what needs are not being met and how can you attend to your needs as time passes?
Do not get pulled into old childhood behavior or patterns. We all regress when we are in our childhood homes. It can hold a flood of memories and trigger emotions. However, consider what you are bringing to the dynamic? Try to remember you are not just the child anymore and cant blame your parents for everything.
Maintain boundaries. I’m not talking about physical boundaries. Is anyone in your house trying to weigh in on your work when they hear your conversations? It’s one thing to introduce your pet to your co-workers on zoom, but another when your mother or spouse starts asking why you said “xyz,” why you are logging off at 4:45, or questioning the long walk you take during the work day. Think about your reaction. Is that the young adult person speaking or the teenager within you who is now reminded of some good old days?
Be mindful of your needs as well as your stress behavior. We are all dealing with the unknown about the future and grief for things lost now- how do you respond in times of loss, isolation, and worry? I hear about as many people hitting the pavement to run, and work out to relieve the stress as I do about binge watching television and baking. Everything in moderation! Try to be aware of your stress behavior and not take it out on the ones you love even though we feel safe doing so. Those are the people we normally use to vent or lash out at when feeling overwhelmed. Try to think first and find a sense of calm to not create unnecessary tension or stress in the home.
Communicate with honesty and respect. We are not perfect and don’t have to be, but try to properly communicate your needs and listen to others respectfully. We have to work together during this time more than ever by supporting each other and creating a safe space to both work/live in.
What do YOU need to be more comfortable in your home right now?
Who can support you to get those needs met?
What is one thing you can ask for from someone you are sharing space with right now?
Please take a moment to share! We are after all, in this together regardless of how isolated you may feel right now.